You’re alone all the time.

One of the biggest lesson I learnt from my trip to the USA is You’re alone all the time.

That’s the well-kept secret. When they talk about living independently for the first time, it’s not about doing your own laundry or waking yourself up in the morning or paying your own utilities. Independent is a fancy word for alone, and that’s why so many capable people struggle. People who thought that they were prepared, that they would flourish under this new system because they had been functioning at such a high level for such a long time. Nobody mentioned that the challenge isn’t functioning. The challenge is doing anything other than functioning. The challenge is to transcend being and start living again.

And maybe it sounds easy because all your basic needs are still being met, and many elements of your former life are still around in one form or another. Look, there’s a cricket match over there, here’s a movie you can watch, here’s where you can drink coffee, here’s a camera you can use. It’s all the same, really. What do you mean there’s nothing to take pictures of? There’s buildings and trees and people. Just point and shoot.

So you arrive, after months of waiting and longing, arrive thinking that your new life will be your old life but better, knowing that specifics from your past won’t transfer but hoping that all the important things carry over. And maybe you get lucky. Maybe some do. But maybe nothing feels like home. And that brings us back to the thesis:

You’re alone all the time. At first it’s unbearable and agonizing and physically painful, the sense that you no matter what you do, you will do it in solitude. At first you die a little more every hour on the hour, you cringe whenever something reminds you of the past, which of course happens every moment. But slowly, you adjust. Soon, it’s only the mornings that hurt, when you wake up and realize you’re still alone, and the evenings when you’re tired and you spent all day winding yourself up and you don’t have any more energy to cope. And then, soon enough, the mornings and evenings are bearable too. You learn to use any human interaction as energy to get you through the day, or you learn to survive in isolation, maybe even embrace it. You become more and more comfortable spending hours or entire days without speaking to anyone. Sometimes, when you absolutely cannot take it anymore, you call your mother, or chat with someone who suddenly means more to you than they ever did before. But you function. You make it through. You have good days and bad days, like any other person. Sometimes you laugh at a joke, and then immediately marvel at the miracle of someone making you laugh, of someone else bringing you joy again. Every once in a while, someone might hug you, and it’s the best thing, even if you don’t know why.

So that’s the plateau. Where you’re fine. Where you smile through the good days and wade your way through the bad. And sometimes you feel great, and you chastise yourself for feeling over-dramatic earlier, and your confidence in your new life swells. And sometimes you break, and you consider flying or driving home right that second because you cannot handle another hour of the emptiness gnawing inside you. Gradually, your highs get a little bit higher, and your lows get less frequent, and you start describing life as “good” instead of “fine” and you generally mean it. You’re doing well. Sometimes you even feel alive.

But then your relative comes to visit, or your girlfriend or loved one, or some pal from high school. And you remember what it’s like to not just know people but understand them, to know their habits and their preferences, to recognize their shirts, to touch them without thinking about it. You remember how good it feels not being alone, and you try to soak up every moment and absorb enough energy to last the long winter. Often it’s awkward because you have nothing in common but memories and mutual affection, so you spend a lot of time staring at each other and wishing you could think of something more interesting to do, some way to better appreciate your visitors, to better make use of your time. You don’t want to waste this. But maybe you do.

And then they leave, and you break again, and your “good” drops to “fine” and then to “okay, I guess.” But soon enough you trick yourself into forgetting how it feels to see love in someone’s eyes, and you adjust back to solitude.

This poem I came across makes you feel better :

There are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it’s too late
and there’s nothing worse
than
too late.

Love for USA !!

Yes !! I am writing this piece whilst I am in the country I feel is the most adorable. Not because I am a Gujarati, or from childhood saw my near and dear ones coming and going to a wonderland called AMERIKA.

Its my second visit to this place and my first Independent one. It is an humbling experience and teaches you few too many lessons of life and morality.

The first thing to take notice is the plain courtesy and the warmth of the people. I realised saying Have a Good Day feels just so good even to strangers you might never encounter again. People smile at you irrespective of caste, color, race, age, sex, language as a goodwill gesture. Small things which are so absent in India as we are busy frowning.

The trust amongst people is just unbelievable. The last time when I visited this place, I was shocked not to be scanned and frisked at Malls, Public Places. When I enquired, the reason was Not all are terrorists or shoplifters.

I do not wish to mention the cleanliness and discipline because it has nothing to do with the country, but the people living in it. I fail to understand, the same fellow Indians I see not observing discipline in India, magically fall in line here. Maybe the fines imposed and the fear of deportation are way too dangerous not to fall in line.

I have toured quite extensively here, but I still am to tour quite a chunk. The uniformity of the quality of infrastructure and also meticulous planning of even small towns is very impressive. After even hearing for about two decades of this wonderland it is still as good as a Disneyland.

We definitely have to do the daily chores by yourself over and above the routine of earning but the quality of life here is far more a lucrative incentive rather than having few servants in India.

Humanity needs these kinds of setting to thrive so as to we don't turn into a simulation of the famous game Angry Birds !!

Off to some more sightseeing...See yaa later.. Adios !!

Cheers
KS :)

An Interesting Conversation

Hello Folks,

Through my numerous browses of the internet, reading various things, I stumbled upon to this piece which has been reproduced by me in this post.

It’s a very interesting conversation between a Professor and a Student about a question which all of us do not have a definite answer.

Read on to enjoy...

Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?

Student: Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Professor: Is GOD good?

Student: Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful?

Student: Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm ?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student: Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Professor: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student: Yes.

Professor: So who created evil?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student: No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student: No, sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Professor: According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student: No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir … Exactly! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation.

Increase your knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

A Tribute to Rahul Dravid - The Wall of Indian Cricket

Rahul Dravid retired from all forms of International and Domestic Cricket on 9th March 2012, through a Press Conference at his home ground, in Bangalore.

His debut Test Match was a perfect example of his long career of the next 16 years in International Cricket. He debuted in the Second Test of India's Tour of England in 1996 at Lord's replacing Sanjay Manjrekar's spot, who was out due to an injury. He scored 95 but the match is always remembered for another stalwart making a century on Debut alongside Rahul - Sourav Ganguly. In the context of the game both innings held equal importance but Rahul is seldom given credit for making a top notch 95 on debut in testing conditions.

His career has also been like the game, in the context of Indian Cricket. In the 16 years of his service, he has held a very important contribution but with natural and aggressive stroke players of the like of Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly, VVS Laxman and Virender Sehwag, the Technique, Resilience and Defense of Dravid takes a backseat. But it was for Dravid's assuring presence and importance of his defense that the other end could showcase the talent.

His technique has been brilliant and the timing equally perfect. He has never bothered to play for the galleries or for the flashlights but always for the team. He could play for the galleries which he showed at the fag end of his career in the Indian Premier League but that was not what we like watching a Rahul Dravid Innings. His dedication towards the game and country is exemplary.

A man of very few words, he always did let his bat to do the most of the talking. He has never been involved in any kind of controversies. Even at the highpoint of the Chappell Ganguly fight, he maintained a dignified silence being the captain of the team. It didn't make him a passive man on the cricket field. In the words of Matthew Hayden, if you want to see Rahul Dravid's aggression, look into his eyes. Those unflinching eyes never wanted to dictate the bowler but never wanted to be dictated as well. It always viewed the importance of his wicket in the context of the game.

Many of his critics, were not happy with him playing the limited over format as he used to eat up many balls compared to the runs he scored. His role in the team has always been of soaking all the pressure and protect his end with steadiness and steward towards playing the full quota of the allotted overs of the match. In 2003 World Cup at South Africa, India could never have fielded an extra batting option had Dravid not agreed to keep wickets which was incidentally not in his KRA.

Rahul Dravid has batted at nearly all positions possible for a batsman to bat, he has also kept wicket, the best man at short leg in the initial part of the career and the best person at slip holding the record for highest test catches and if all this is not enough he also has some wickets to his name.

We will miss Rahul because we can never watch him again construct a test innings like he used to. No highlights package can cover the straight bat defense, the meticulous ducks and enduring and taming the most torrid bowling spells.

His career coincided the golden era of Indian Batting and hence Rahul Dravid always remained in the shadows. His presence in the Indian team was like Hygiene in a person's personality, we never acknowledge its presence but in case of its absence it looks really tardy.

My personal experience of watching Rahul Dravid in a stadium was from the Final Test of West Indies touring India in 2011 in Wankhede in Bombay. The match best remembered for Sachin missing his 100th 100 by a mere 6 runs but it was also a moment of Dravid who completed 1000 runs in a calendar year at an age of 39 years, a testimony to his approach and fitness.

Its the end of the most sober era of the Indian Cricket. Rahul Dravid hangs his Massive Boots which will be a test for the Incumbent youngsters to fill in so India is not hurt.