I turned 29 last Sunday, not the person who is hyper about birthdays, I usually retire for the day to the sleepy hamlet of Nathdwara, Rajasthan. It gives me the time to reflect and the Krishna temple in the town lets me be grateful to the God. This year, much like the big events of Olympics and Wimbledon, my annual routine was also not to be.
The day was going well with the usual calls, texts, cakes, messages and wishes and suddenly post lunch the newswires were buzzing with the suicide of Sushant Singh Rajput. Some minutes of catching news started triggering me with a lot of emotions. As an audience, I was no fan of his work or did not follow him him keenly at all, saw him playing Dhoni more for the enigma of MS Dhoni and in Chhichhore. But, a 34 year old, ending his life which was laced with all the material comforts, luxuries one can only ask for and dizzying fame that movie actors get in India was absolutely disturbing. To let my birthday go in peace, I shut myself from the news.
On point, stories of him being kind, sensitive and a wonderful human being started making way in the news. The way this man thought, lived, his interests made him a complete misfit in the movie world, no wonder he was battling loneliness & depression. When he was alive, the stories that made news was of his promiscuity, insecurities, temper and tantrums and suddenly after death the "sinner" projected by media became a "saint". Reminds me of Anne Frank's prophetic words, "Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude."
Over the week, I kept thinking why would someone kind and sensitive meet such a troubled end. How do people make a giving man lonely. I thought of all the times I have felt deserted after trying to just look out for people by the very same people. Like a lazy meandering river, I kept making shifts and turns trying to find an answer.
As is the case with me, I take a deep dive in history & cricket whenever I am trying to find answers. I reevaluate incidents in my life as well if I have missed learning something. Would the world have discovered the brilliance of Birbal and Tansen had they not met an audience like the Emperor Akbar, chances are they would have been nondescript like so many people are, yet it is their connoisseur in Emperor Akbar that catapulted Birbal and Tansen.
The Royal Family of Baroda, the Gaekwads recognized as patrons the immense talent of Raja Ravi Varma and today his paintings are immortalized. Sayajirao Gaekwad was the first one to discover the spark of brilliance in a young Bhimrao Ambedkar and made sure he is provided proper education, the boy eventually became Babasaheb who wrote the Constitution of Independent India.
People like Allan Border, Sourav Ganguly took massive punts on individuals they believed in ultimately making heroes that the system would have gladly ignored. Acting legends Om Puri, Naseerruddin Shah, Smita Patil, Shabana Azmi owe to the recognizing abilities of Shyam Benegal and Govind Nihlani at a time nothing else other than a handful actors, glitter and beauty was all that Hindi movies was about.
As a misfit myself, being bullied to have opinions that my peers did not delve into owing to laziness or complacency, I was most of the times left lonely to my thoughts. But I kept encouraging myself to meet new people and did not judge them from my experience of people that already were giving me a raw deal. I think that was one of the good things I did and over time I did bump into people who I could relate to, could talk to, not feel judged about voicing my opinions, share my reading joys.
Social media did help me connect to people from different walks of life but with similar thoughts and suddenly I felt wow the world is such a great place.
We are a product of our own surroundings. The surroundings do have an important role to play in our success and our mental health too. If you feel the surrounding you are in is claustrophobic or devaluing you, before you believe it yourself that you truly are useless check whether you need to change the surroundings. Most criminals owe to taking up crime only due to the surroundings. If given a better outlet these bosses could easily have been CEOs of companies coz essentially the rules of the game are the same, for biscuit or a drug as a product and managing human resources and being competitive to peers.
Like self improvement is a never ending quest, make finding like minded people (your tribe) also a never ending quest. Do not rely on the ones you have who are not adding any value or worse making you feel lesser. Finding people that help you grow, evolve is also equally your responsibility like improving the work that you do.
From personal experience I want to share, I have been written off on my face more than I have been encouraged but then my motto is "Don't take criticism from people I would never turn to for an advice."
I want to express my gratitude to one person in particular, my friend Sunand Warrier. There was no conventional way we could be the friends we are, not a single common factor to connect but we did and I am so glad. He is one person who stuck out even when my family had their own doubts about my abilities and future. Thank you mate for being there!
Cheers,
KS
The day was going well with the usual calls, texts, cakes, messages and wishes and suddenly post lunch the newswires were buzzing with the suicide of Sushant Singh Rajput. Some minutes of catching news started triggering me with a lot of emotions. As an audience, I was no fan of his work or did not follow him him keenly at all, saw him playing Dhoni more for the enigma of MS Dhoni and in Chhichhore. But, a 34 year old, ending his life which was laced with all the material comforts, luxuries one can only ask for and dizzying fame that movie actors get in India was absolutely disturbing. To let my birthday go in peace, I shut myself from the news.
On point, stories of him being kind, sensitive and a wonderful human being started making way in the news. The way this man thought, lived, his interests made him a complete misfit in the movie world, no wonder he was battling loneliness & depression. When he was alive, the stories that made news was of his promiscuity, insecurities, temper and tantrums and suddenly after death the "sinner" projected by media became a "saint". Reminds me of Anne Frank's prophetic words, "Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude."
Over the week, I kept thinking why would someone kind and sensitive meet such a troubled end. How do people make a giving man lonely. I thought of all the times I have felt deserted after trying to just look out for people by the very same people. Like a lazy meandering river, I kept making shifts and turns trying to find an answer.
As is the case with me, I take a deep dive in history & cricket whenever I am trying to find answers. I reevaluate incidents in my life as well if I have missed learning something. Would the world have discovered the brilliance of Birbal and Tansen had they not met an audience like the Emperor Akbar, chances are they would have been nondescript like so many people are, yet it is their connoisseur in Emperor Akbar that catapulted Birbal and Tansen.
The Royal Family of Baroda, the Gaekwads recognized as patrons the immense talent of Raja Ravi Varma and today his paintings are immortalized. Sayajirao Gaekwad was the first one to discover the spark of brilliance in a young Bhimrao Ambedkar and made sure he is provided proper education, the boy eventually became Babasaheb who wrote the Constitution of Independent India.
People like Allan Border, Sourav Ganguly took massive punts on individuals they believed in ultimately making heroes that the system would have gladly ignored. Acting legends Om Puri, Naseerruddin Shah, Smita Patil, Shabana Azmi owe to the recognizing abilities of Shyam Benegal and Govind Nihlani at a time nothing else other than a handful actors, glitter and beauty was all that Hindi movies was about.
As a misfit myself, being bullied to have opinions that my peers did not delve into owing to laziness or complacency, I was most of the times left lonely to my thoughts. But I kept encouraging myself to meet new people and did not judge them from my experience of people that already were giving me a raw deal. I think that was one of the good things I did and over time I did bump into people who I could relate to, could talk to, not feel judged about voicing my opinions, share my reading joys.
Social media did help me connect to people from different walks of life but with similar thoughts and suddenly I felt wow the world is such a great place.
We are a product of our own surroundings. The surroundings do have an important role to play in our success and our mental health too. If you feel the surrounding you are in is claustrophobic or devaluing you, before you believe it yourself that you truly are useless check whether you need to change the surroundings. Most criminals owe to taking up crime only due to the surroundings. If given a better outlet these bosses could easily have been CEOs of companies coz essentially the rules of the game are the same, for biscuit or a drug as a product and managing human resources and being competitive to peers.
Like self improvement is a never ending quest, make finding like minded people (your tribe) also a never ending quest. Do not rely on the ones you have who are not adding any value or worse making you feel lesser. Finding people that help you grow, evolve is also equally your responsibility like improving the work that you do.
From personal experience I want to share, I have been written off on my face more than I have been encouraged but then my motto is "Don't take criticism from people I would never turn to for an advice."
I want to express my gratitude to one person in particular, my friend Sunand Warrier. There was no conventional way we could be the friends we are, not a single common factor to connect but we did and I am so glad. He is one person who stuck out even when my family had their own doubts about my abilities and future. Thank you mate for being there!
Cheers,
KS
